The real glory is being knocked to your knees and then coming back. That's real glory. That's the essence of it. - Vince Lombardi
I hit bottom yesterday. After getting to the halfway mark of my training and doing really well, I became sick with the worst cold bug in recent memory. Aches, congestion, fever, nausea -- I had it all... for two weeks! I tried to run, but after a mile or two, would be too winded to keep on. I used my inhaler for the first time in a year. In fact, my doctor had to prescribe a new one because the old one was expired.
So, yesterday after almost two weeks of non-exercise and minimal functioning, I ran. I ran as fast and hard as I could, somehow trying to make up for all the time off. I was already exhausted from a long few days, hungry from a tiny lunch (busy day at work) and overheated from the 85 degree temperature. I went into the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water. Sure enough, a minute or so later, I felt dizzy and plop! fell right to the floor. I couldn't believe that my body just gave out. I was disappointed that what used to be an easy 4 mile run, in a short time, had become a struggle.
"How was I going to go back to running my long runs?" I thought to myself. Disappointment in my performance led to frustration and panic. I had fears about not finishing before my illness. How was I going to finish now after taking so much time off in the middle of training??? That's when the tears came. I worked so hard and felt like I had taken a bazillion steps back -- or more accurately 70 miles. That's how many miles I missed. 70. "How in the world was I supposed to make those up now with less than two months to go???" Then more tears came.
After the crying and the shock of passing out wore off, I knew what had to be done. It's what I was doing all along -- lots more hard work. I can't imagine "if" I cross the finish line. I will. I have to. I already exceeded my expectations. I've put in too much hard work to quit now. I'm not going to lie; I'm scared shitless, but I'm not giving up. And I have to think, what's a goal without its challenges?
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2 comments:
You can do it Mae! Just keep doing what you can and keep your chin up! Sending you hugs!
You can do it, Mae! I'm sorry you had to take so much time off your training, but I know you can use the time you have remaining before the marathon to get yourself in the condition needed to finish the race.
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