and two more...

What an idiot I am! After taking two weeks off from this stupid sickness and my ill-fated run, I ran 16 miles on Sunday. A fellow marathoner (from Chicago) was in town and a mutual friend thought it would be a great idea for us to run together. That was a brilliant idea. Susie was so nice to chat with for the 2 1/2 hours we were out there. What wasn't a brilliant idea? Me deciding I could run 16 miles after almost 2 weeks of nothing. It did prove, that while I wasn't exactly on my schedule anymore (I was supposed to run 18 miles that day), I still have "it" and the time off didn't completely kill my training. However, it also hurt me.

It started with the knee pain I felt around mile 12. That's semi-normal for me, and I didn't really cringe when we finished. Ok, ice this baby up and stretch it out, and I'll be good. The next morning, I got up to pee and my freaking hip hurt like a mother! It was intense. So intense, I began visably limping the entire day. The next day at work, I asked people to come to my desk. It hurt too much to get up. I had never experienced hip pain before. It was probably overcompensating for my moronic knee.

Yesterday, the pain was too noticeable to ignore. I called the sports medicine center and was fortunate to score an appointment for today. So, the orthopedic surgeon said that I MAY have a stress fracture in my hip bone. Since I have pain when I walk, pain when I sleep and failed the fulcrum test (a procedure used to check for a stress fracture), it's a possibility. However, a small fracture won't normally show up on an x-ray (it didn't on mine) and there's another small chance of it showing up on an MRI. Basically, he left it up to me as to whether I wanted an MRI. I said no. I'm going to have some PT and incorporate other cardio into my routine, so that I can slightly cut back running until I (fingers crossed) feel relief and keep up with my miles. I'm definitely supposed to go back to the doctor if it gets worse. If not, I just have to follow up after the marathon. Overall, the orthopedic surgeon seemed sympathetic to the fact I want to actually run the race and made suggestions that would enable me to do it (as long as the pain doesn't get worse). So, the news wasn't bad, but I'm cautiously optimistic.

little black dresses

I love the fact that despite moves and life changes, I can still count on my girls and vice versa. I'm amazed how 4 strangers -- all different in personality, career tracks, idiosycrasies -- clicked one fateful college semester to make up this awesome group. We've been through some great times and some really sucky ones. The most recent event that brought us together was one of the valleys -- the passing of Leanne's dad.


Cancer took him from his family on August 14, 2008. Through pure chance, all of us were in town and able to offer Leanne our love and comfort on the day of his memorial service. Earlier that day, I had worn a black dress to share in Leanne's grief, and now we had all doned little black dresses to celebrate life. We gathered at Houlihan's, shared stories and tasted each other's mini martinis. We gave Lea a big bottle of Jack, laughed until we cried, hugged to make up for the months apart and joyed in the fact that we could be there for one of us that was hurting.

As I drove home tonight, I realized how lucky I am. When I announced my divorce to these same amazing girls, they all responded within a New York minute. I had an offer for a hug within the hour. The great thing is, I knew she would drop everything because she truly meant it. I also knew if I were at the ledge, the others would hop a plane, a bus, whatever, to be there as well.


Life is unpredictable. The bumps in the road seem to always appear when we least expect them. I'm very fortunate to have friends that can inspire a smile by just a look and make me feel like I can conquer the world, because I know they would support me if I tried. This is the love that we all need in the good and the bad times.

I love you ladies. Cheers to the next four years...

2 steps back

The real glory is being knocked to your knees and then coming back. That's real glory. That's the essence of it. - Vince Lombardi

I hit bottom yesterday. After getting to the halfway mark of my training and doing really well, I became sick with the worst cold bug in recent memory. Aches, congestion, fever, nausea -- I had it all... for two weeks! I tried to run, but after a mile or two, would be too winded to keep on. I used my inhaler for the first time in a year. In fact, my doctor had to prescribe a new one because the old one was expired.

So, yesterday after almost two weeks of non-exercise and minimal functioning, I ran. I ran as fast and hard as I could, somehow trying to make up for all the time off. I was already exhausted from a long few days, hungry from a tiny lunch (busy day at work) and overheated from the 85 degree temperature. I went into the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water. Sure enough, a minute or so later, I felt dizzy and plop! fell right to the floor. I couldn't believe that my body just gave out. I was disappointed that what used to be an easy 4 mile run, in a short time, had become a struggle.

"How was I going to go back to running my long runs?" I thought to myself. Disappointment in my performance led to frustration and panic. I had fears about not finishing before my illness. How was I going to finish now after taking so much time off in the middle of training??? That's when the tears came. I worked so hard and felt like I had taken a bazillion steps back -- or more accurately 70 miles. That's how many miles I missed. 70. "How in the world was I supposed to make those up now with less than two months to go???" Then more tears came.

After the crying and the shock of passing out wore off, I knew what had to be done. It's what I was doing all along -- lots more hard work. I can't imagine "if" I cross the finish line. I will. I have to. I already exceeded my expectations. I've put in too much hard work to quit now. I'm not going to lie; I'm scared shitless, but I'm not giving up. And I have to think, what's a goal without its challenges?